| renewed | member since April 2009 |
 female, 45 years old | September 12, 2009, 9:40 am Ch ch ch ChangesI still don't know what I was waiting forAnd my time was running wild A million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet So I turned myself to face me But I've never caught a glimpse Of how the others must see the faker I'm much too fast to take that test Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes Don't want to be a richer man Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time Bet you all thought I was Munkstir belting out another song. Sorry but Munkstir has inspired me and I’m riding her wave… :) Physical changes have taken place. April 4, 2009 I started at 222.6. Sept 11, 2009 I’m at 186. 6 more pounds and I’m no longer obese. April 4th I was winded walking a mile. This morning I ran for 31 minutes…2.6 miles…(could have done 3.1 but was unsure where my stopping point should have been…I underestimated) I started at a size 18 to 20 and now I’m in 14 to 16. Physical changes bring mental changes…or so I’m finding. I have a hard time posting and sharing what is going on in my life because I have this mental hang up that people would not be interested in me, that I sound stupid, that I can’t make my point…oh yadda, yadda, yadda. Ultimately, I feel I just don’t measure up and I’m not as important as other people. When I post a reply I always look at it and wonder if it sounds stupid. It’s a strange affliction as I’m a very opinionated, blunt (okay, borderline bitchy), right or wrong, type of woman. I like to have fun but my friends and family ALWAYS know what’s on my mind, so I’m no doormat. But…something in me clicked this morning. I don’t know if it was because I accomplished a goal that I’ve had for over a year (I’m so a runnerwannabe); or if it was because I had my first Zumba class on Thursday and didn’t die; or if Kel’s column or Jim’s reply under Dazzle’s post motivated me; or I just pushed through a log jam in my mind…or a combination of it all…I suddenly feel that being me ain’t so bad. The things that I’ve gone through in my life to get me here are all apart of…well… me! I do have something to offer…stupid or not. New goal…join in, participate, open myself up. Stop thinking that the light at the end of the tunnel is a gorilla with a flashlight! Life is always changing. When you take time to look at the changes, acknowledge where you’re at and where you want to be…well hell, that’s half the battle. Change is inevitable…whaddya gonna do about it?
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