| NMCandida | member since June 2009 |
 female, 42 years old | November 17, 2009, 9:56 am Misadventures with Candida Wakefield (NOV 09) Why the beginning of my most recent story is yet another walkabout, I cannot for the life of me tell you. But that is where my poor fuzzy brain wishes to start, so there we shall begin. One would think that after 40 years of owning animals and 14 years of being a veterinarian, there may be a small amount of animal logic hidden somewhere in me, but apparently that is not the case. Certainly it was not the other week when I felt sorry for my poor ponies. “Poor ponies,” said I, as I looked out at the dejected beasts standing in the mud in one corner of an over-grazed pasture. “They are so bored, bored, bored. I will let them out on the side lawn for a little change of scenery and a munch of grass.” Now, they have been out on the side grass before, when they escaped from the pasture. The trampoline, which when I am riding is a monster from the deepest depths of hell, becomes their shady little friend as long as I am not on their backs. There is plenty of grass there, and they happily munch on it and leave the fledgling apple trees alone until I realize they have escaped and traipse out to return them. So, what harm can there be in allowing them a little deliberate side lawn attention? I duly let them out, where they happily get down to the business of trimming the lawn into oblivion. I go inside for a few minutes, checking on them again in short order. Hmmm. They have disappeared … nope! There they are, happily grazing in the deserted lot off to one side of the mucky-mucky pond. This is an area of about 1 acre of tall grass, so I figure they will be most content there. I go back in and within 10 minutes think I should check up on them again. They….are….gone. Just – gone. No worries! I get their breakfast, clanging the metal bins together, yelling cheerfully. They always come running for breckers, after all! “Ssssmmmoooooookey! Oopsy, Oopsy Daisy! Come on! Hooooorrrrses! Come on, guys! Breakfast!” Well, they can’t have gone far. I have explained before that we are rather deserted, rural, discreet, alone. Please don’t be offended by what I next admit. I am wearing my PJ top, undies, and muck boots. It seems OK to me that I begin my search for them with just that on, and a bucket of grain. “OOPSY DAISY! SMOKESCREEN LAD! COME ON!” I believe they were in the bushes at this time, presumably laughing gleefully at my wobbly red thighs. After discovering that their footprints disappeared magically off the face of the earth, I went inside to get dressed, pen, paper, lead ropes, etc., and went out driving from neighbor to neighbor. “Have you seen …” “Sorry, but, could you watch for ...” “It’s not the dogs this time …” Sigh. Come home, hubby has reported them to the sheriff (when I was a kid, the sheriff found my Appaloosa mare at a neighbors orchard, and herded her back to me with his car down main street, but that’s a whole ‘nother tale), and asks me why I don’t just track them. I give him the usual cross-wife look, and I must say it gives me enormous pleasure when his sarcastic adjectives come back to haunt him 30 minutes later after failure to find a trail. YEA. ;) Finally, my detective work pays off. I find a single track bounding off the main path … then one of the neighbors call. “Got ‘em!” The horses are now locked safely in the triple electric stranded, muddy, 60 X 110 paddock. Their burdocks were removed, all except the ones in Daisy’s forelock. I clipped that, and hence the picture of my little unicorn. They are dreadfully sad and bored. I can’t ride since my surgery, but I have ordered a harness for Smokey and a bunch of horse toys. Anyone have any boredom buster ideas for me? They are fat, so no, I can’t just feed them hay all day long (looking into lesser quality round bale hay though!), and I can’t ride or do much training for a few more weeks, plus winter is closing in … Well, I was going to catch all y’all up on how Percocet Addles the Brain, and on how Daisy loves me if I am sad, but I’ll save that for another time … TTFN, Candida Wakefield PS – The silver lining is I have no desire to eat more than about 1400 calories a day right now! Of course, I also have no desire to MOVE. Oh well, move another day…
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