| Lynn_Matava | member since October 2009 |
 Eastern Shore, Maryland | November 9, 2009, 8:57 pm SERVING up a SMILE: 11/10/09, Unpack Your Bags Pictured above, a suitcase full of photos of me, early on in my journey. It has been a full week since I returned from my visit to Brooklyn and there it sits, like a lump, in the middle of my bedroom floor: my suitcase. Sure, when I returned last week, I pulled out all of the dirties and threw them into the wash. Then I set the bag onto the floor. I fully intended to unpack it. For a couple of days I pulled clothing out of it: a clean shirt, a hardly-worn pair of corduroys. Though it was only a weekend visit, I packed enough underwear and socks for a three week stay and I am still pulling those out of the side pocket. The hair dryer apparatus that I use to style my hair is still in there—proof that, on some level, I am not (always) a high maintenance woman. For whatever reason, unpacking the bag all at once is a daunting task. So be it. I will remove items as I am comfortable with it. There is still a bag on my daughters’ floor and secretly I fear that it may be a crime of the universe to be producing baggage for my children. We all come into this world fully exposed and completely unadorned. For obvious reasons, we need to acquire some things such as clothing and food. Much, if not most, of the other stuff, are items that we want more than we need. I come to you today to profess that I am a world-class pack rat. I have a difficult time letting go of anything. Even old clothes and garbage and, yes, even some (many) things that cause me pain. Be it a physical article in which I am emotionally attached, or some notion or idea that I am holding onto, I have trouble releasing my grip even when I know it its time to let go. About a month after joining NM, the strangest things began to happen. The first abnormality was that my clothing was becoming visibly loose. Time to get new clothing. The next thing that happened was that the flood gates opened. I began to cry over everything. I even went back through my journals and found the one entitled Overly Emotional (click to read) where I documented that I was crying all of the time at Hallmark commercials and movies about cat-sized canines. Looking back now I am certain that it was my body’s way of beginning to let go of some of the baggage. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of it since then, too. As I have moved down in pant sizes, the urge to get rid of all sorts of other things grew stronger. While at a friend’s home I saw a big box of contractor-sized garbage bags and thought to myself, “I could use some of those.” And so it begun, the official hauling out of my entire life’s worth of hoarding. I made a deal with myself. One gigantic-size bag worth of rubbish per week and a donation bag of any clothing that is now too big to wear. So far, so good. In return, I regain some freedom. As strange as it sounds, the more physical “stuff” I eliminate, the greater the sum of the emotional junk that I have eliminated. Now, I am not saying that the weight itself held any emotional baggage. For me, it was in the neglect of my body and health (which created the added weight) that just happened to coincide with the bulk accumulation of unnecessary possessions. I was unhappy, therefore I needed stuff. And more of it. The worst part of it all, it seems, is that most of the “stuff” that I have gathered over the years, really has been worthless. We aren’t talking someday antiques or anything of real value. Why in the world do I own a pillow that says, “A Fisherman Lives Here with the Catch of His Life?” It isn’t like I am going to use it in a decorating scheme. I honestly cannot remember where it came from to begin with. I do know we have had possession of the thing for close to fifteen years. If it is true that we have an internal switch that lets us know when we are ready to deal with whatever it is that we have stashed away to sort and place later, than I am fortunate to have located NM when I did. For me it happened just as the flood gates were opening. Since the beginning of my journey, I am down 81 pounds in the physical sense. I am far from shedding the emotional baggage that I have accumulated over the years. I once became offended when someone called me fat. Now I find offence when I am categorized as skinny. Is that the equivalent of feeling judged for being rich? That, I do not know. But I will be glad to share if and when I ever get there. The only thing that I am certain of is that these are my issues. I will sort and place them in my own time. When the day is done, I truly believe we all are in the background, cheering the serial collector, when he or she finally realizes the freedom of the less is more philosophy. I think whenever it is an exceptionally good unload, we cheer: even when we are perfectly comfortable among our own metaphysical piles of clutter. This Saturday, November, 14, 2009, one of our own, USAndyD will depart, on perhaps one of the most inspiring examples of baggage elimination that I, personally, have ever witnessed. For those of you that may have missed it, Andy has been getting rid of most of his earthly possessions for months now. He will be leaving behind a job and a now-empty dwelling and will be hitting the open road—seeing all the sights there is to see, greeting all the people he can (as time allows), and proving to us all that the journey can be accomplished, most efficiently, with the least amount of baggage possible. Andy, I hope the rest of the family joins me in wishing you well on the exciting journey in which you will embark. You are an inspiration to “stuff” collectors and freedom-seekers everywhere. I look forward to following your journey via your blog: The Tao of Andy (click to read) Sometimes we live through the experiences of others, that which we are unable or unwilling to, experience for ourselves. I may be at a point in my journey where I have lost weight and obtained a green home page; behind the scenes, the emotional journey has only just begun. I wish for each of you the courage to love your decisions, the faith to follow them through and the insight to ignore whomever your critics may be. Let us unpack our bags together and get on with this great journey. It is with some country hospitality and a ladle in hand that I say thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll come back next week and pull your chair up to my table. I’m not sure what we’ll be serving up but I promise to do it with a smile. ~ Love the foods that love you back! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Don’t forget to visit the Country Tart to read more edible thoughts, view original recipes and witness Lynn’s mission to express art through food and document food through art. Join the Country Tart Fan Page on Facebook: The Country Tart Fan Page  My garage. A work in progress.
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