| DGouldthorp | member since May 2009 |
  | Senior MomentsMay 24, 2009, 8:50 pm SENIOR MOMENTS with gouldthorp Horse-feathers. Whoever thought that one up obviously isn’t old, arthritic and have one foot in the grave. The only positive I’ve found about getting old is lying about my age. Instead of knocking years off, I like to add on a good fifteen or twenty. That way everyone I meet says, “God, you look good for your age.” Aging is such a touchy subject. When we’re young, we can’t wait to get older, to assume the mantle of maturity and an air of gravitas. But somehow, all of that seems to stop at thirty-something when the lines appear, body parts start moving South and the cashier at the drive-through calls us Sir or Ma’am. When someone guesses our age incorrectly - in the right direction - what transpires is a moment of sheer exhilaration as was the case not that many years ago when I got carded in a wine store. At the other end of the scale, there are few things more deflating than when someone guesses incorrectly in the wrong direction - I’m sure the young man didn’t mean any harm when he asked me if I’d seen much action in World War II, but when I pointed out to him that to have fought in that war, I’d have to be at least eighty years old his Adam’s apple started to bob as he fought to rephrase the question without offense; Korea? Vietnam? The sexual revolution? It didn’t matter, the damage was done. Without using the actual word, he’d called me old. Ouch, that hurt. Immediately I could feel my arches falling and hear my arteries hardening. Oh death, where is thy sting? The first time I got really upset about my age was when a teeny-bopper cashier asked me if I wanted the seniors’ discount. Problem was that I was only 45 at the time. I leaned across the counter and hissed at the young lady, “Do I look like a senior?” to which she casually replied, “Well, your hair’s grey.” Momma, I’m coming home. Nowadays I’m happy to take my seniors’ discount at the movies, the supermarket or even Mickey D’s when I grab a cup of morning Joe. It’s not saving a few cents or even a dollar or two that’s important any more, it’s the begrudging acceptance on my part that I’m comfortable with myself as I get closer to my “sell by” date. And that’s ok though; my life’s story is written in the lines on my face. Look close and read it if you like. If not, just smile and let me by; there’s so much left to do. And so much more to enjoy. Unlike a trip to the mailbox these days that just seems to be stuffed with all kinds of junk from folks trying to sell me things like hearing aids, bifocals, sets of dentures (ready the same business day!), mobility scooters, medical insurance and life insurance. There are the donation requests from groups claiming to represent just about every disease known to man, chest-thumping self-congratulatory nonsense from Washington and offers of cash advances (short-term, naturally) from companies whose interest rates would put the local loan shark’s 6-for-5 vigorish to shame. And finally there’s the AARP magazine…with its ads for hot tubs and walk-in shower enclosures for the arthritic, walkers, canes, crutches, adult diapers and even burial plots. Would someone please lock away all the kitchen knives, I have a sudden urge to slit my wrists. What to do then? My answer would be to live well, eat sensibly, maintain a sense of humor, get some exercise and enjoy your friends. Take stock of your life and make changes; small ones at first like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and then tackle the big stuff like serious weight loss, running a 5k or whatever that special personal goal may be. But don’t procrastinate. Carpe Diem. As my dear old mother used to say, “At my age, ‘see you next Tuesday’ is actually long-term planning.” So late last year, I decided to take some of my own advice and made some serious lifestyle changes, one of which was joining NutriMirror. I also joined a gym and made the commitment to myself that I was simply going to enjoy life. I’ve made many new friends both here and in the gym, my weight has come down and my overall wellbeing and attitude have greatly improved. In short, life is good. A couple of weeks ago, I had to go to a meeting. As I entered the conference room, one of the other attendees (who has known me for the past five years) extended his hand and said, “Good afternoon, sir. Pleased to meet…..Good heavens, I didn’t recognize you. You look so….” “Slim?” I suggested. He thought for a moment. “I was going to say young.” I smiled back at him. What could I say? He’d just made my day. After all, age is just a number. Remember – it ain’t over till they screw the lid on.
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